Thursday, November 12, 2009

Taper Stupors

When: Saturday, November 14, 2009 6:45 AM-Whenever. Central Standard Time
Where: Veteran's Park - 21st & Boulder

If you’re anything like me, then Dude/Dudette, we both have more than our fair share of serious issues (cross dressing put aside, as well as the newly tapped uberfascination with tight weave, form fitting, gams illuminating, black fishnet hosiery). Hearing the calling of those multiple voices from inside your head really isn’t that big a deal, but rather, having the uncanny ability to consistently let the wrong ones out at the most inopportune time, in the most inappropriate settings, defies the laws of gravity. Just be careful out there. If you’re relatively new to this game, hang in there as it gets more confusing with practice.
It’s time to put some rumors to rest. It’s been suggested that the recent references to Pretty Boy Brian are in some way vindictive or driven by jealousy, greed, idol worship, or a personal vendetta. Well, rest assured that there is nothing further from the truth. The PB Brian slams are humbly intended to simply poke at him for the sheer fun of it. It makes me feel better about myself and the world we help spin by running in random and illogical patterns of oscillating clockwise and counterclockwise fashion.
Speaking of Brian, Trail Zombie, Runner World’s resident Pho-Tog extraordinaire, has confirmed that he has rarely been able to display pictures of PB that were not first PhotoShop enhanced – a clear and conclusive indication that Brian just isn’t the naturally photogenic type. No need to ridicule or make a big deal about it, since the condition is known to be inoperable and incurable.
Speaking of Trail Zombie, it was reported that during last week’s Mock Marathon that he displayed a sudden and unworldly burst of speed that resulted in the formation of a small cyclone – a “Trail-Nado” if you will. Well, elaborate investigative analysis by our very own crack forensic expert, Jason, shed some light and conclusively determined that although there was certain evidence that a wind was created, that it was internally propagated. Let’s all share a moment of silent gratitude that we train outside where the breezes are tasked to sweep the trails.
As we’re well aware, we’re about a week out from our targeted Tulsa Route 66 Marathon. That means we’re into our taper period, where we reward our bodies with reduced stresses, shorter and less stringent workouts, and yes, even to squeeze in some pampering to get every working part well rested in preparation for the upcoming race. Above all, with certainty, if you have incurred any nagging injuries, recent muscle strains, or training induced boo boo’s, then PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do the right thing and take it easy. Body – Heal Thy Self! This is not the time to “work it out”, “play through the pain”, or to “tough it out”. Runners don’t let their running partners ignore the taper. (NOTE: This section brought to you by our very own self ordained Nurse Larry.)
This week’s pre-R66 Training Run will be a short tune up, starting once again from our home court setting of Veteran’s Park. We’ll take it easy, keep it short, and use the run as a final light tune up. Starting time of 7:30 AM’ish is anticipated, but stay tuned to Coach K’s announcement for the exact time.
In all seriousness, prayers and positive thoughts for our RW friends Rusty and Rob, and their families are in order following the passing of their Father last weekend. Rusty and Rob, we’re sorry for your loss.

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