I think we know each other well enough by now to take a few risks – to share some inner secrets. OK, I’ll go first. Like many other fine folks/folkettes, I have a long deep-seated fear of rabbits – and even more so of bunnies. I can rarely close my eyes without conjuring up the vision of that incessant staring, that constant nibbling, that innocent appearing bundle of soft fur, just waiting for the opportune time to leap into action and thump the living stuffing out of me (extended shuddering).
With that, you can imagine my horror last Thursday when Bobby, my new best frenemy, bestowed upon me the task of overseeing the fate of the publicly revered bunny slippers for the next 7 days. I won’t lie to you – following the triggered fear gene, thoughts quickly turned from “stewing” to opportunistically envisioning “accidental scenarios” that could innocently lead to the bunnies’ demise, despite my “best efforts” to intervene on their behalf. The taste of sweet, sweet revenge was nearly mine. Now settle in for a telling of Larriver’s Travels:
So the first couple of days passed without incident, and without the bunny slippers seeing the light of day. As for me, it presented the opportunity for deep reflection, which led to enhanced images of fellow runners Sloan and Lisa (A.K.A “Jessica”) at the Halloween Tulsa Run. You know the old saying of “You can’t teach an old alzheimic dog to get the early worm before shutting the barn door” – well it was never more true than with me. Maybe, just maybe, some good rewards can come from hanging out with bunnies. With my inspirational boost, I was ready to come face to slipper with the bunnies – yeah, risk-taker galore – me and Indy Jones are two birds of a sweater.
Which brings us to official Taper week--the week before the Route 66 Marathon. After a long talk with Roger the bunny slipper, we made a pact to spend some quality time together through the sharing of cross-hopping activities. Roger was actually quite pleased, as he revealed that although he considers himself rather quick, that long distance running is not his forte. Plus, having just returned from a once in a lifetime trip to Greece with Bobby, Roger was ready to dial it down a notch – just taper if you will. But when I mentioned that we head outside for some sharing in long postponed yard work, Roger let out a curiously foreshadowing deep sigh – one that at the time flew right by me.
To get things started, we summoned up the dusty old yard chomper, and proceeded to cut a path or two. Turns out that mowing didn’t seem to fit in Roger’s sweet spot, so we migrated to some weed whipping.
Again, not that good of a match – seemed to be a little dusty for his tastes.
Moving on, with the hedges having grown obscenely high, I thought that we should be able to fire up the B&D clippers and bring those hedges back to the brink of civilization.
You guessed it – again not a match.
Being the observant and caring type, and thinking that maybe the problem was really with engines and motors, I hoped that Roger and I would better bond over some light moving work. We no more started before Roger started complaining about getting dirt lodged in his nibbler.
Saving the best for last, surely pushing a few fall leaves around would fit the bill as light work, something we could do together, and something without the whir of engines. Turns out that the scraping of tines on the ground were sending little tinglies up Roger’s sole.
We jointly agreed it was time for a break and time to reassess.
That’s when it occurred to me that we started our newly trusting relationship all wrong. Silly me – you don’t build a relationship by jumping straight into work – you need to start more leisurely – have some fun.
A bike ride seemed just the ticket, and would also fit in the cross hopping category. Only, guess what, that didn’t work out quite so well either. Something was malfunctioning with the bike, as it seemed to have developed an unexplained yet methodical thumping.
Even a simple car trip seemed to somehow put another damper on our budding relationship. I was beginning to feel like I had been played. And Roger seemed to have all this pent up energy, looking for some kind of outlet.
That’s when Roger gathered the guts to say: “I’ve got to be honest with you, I’m not the Bugs Bunny outdoorsy type. Plus, I may still be a little jet lag exhausted from the trip to Greece.”
So, still trying to do all I could to nurture our friendship, plus being a little on the hungry side from our on again, off again cross hopping activities, I suggested that we go inside and whittle up vittles. It’s been turning a little nipply lately, so brewing up a batch of my lucky hungry man stew would surely be the ticket.
Once again the adage of No Good Deed Goes Unpunished came to fruition, when Roger suggested that we’ve possibly had a little too much togetherness for one day, and maybe it would be best if we retired our separate ways. Plus, he said that he needed to go over some things with the missus, that they had some issues to resolve. Coming from the old school, I assume that the bunny slippers are married, as they’ve been living together for several years now, so I didn’t feel guilty about letting them stay in the same box that night. Regardless, I chose to let sleeping rabbits lie, and said my good nights.
The next morning, I was suddenly awakened to the sound of overzealous nibbling and gnawing. Being the curious type, plus still possessing the fear of unprovoked bunny attacks, I carefully and quietly investigated and discovered the following scene. Seems the bunnies had managed to find the wine supply and who knows what else.
But there was something else a brewing – Mrs. Bunny had suddenly accumulated a little bit of a midsection bump.
You don’t think …. Too late. Seems that Roger did indeed have a hidden talent. All I can say is that it happened on Bobby’s watch – he’s the one who sponsored the romantic trip to Greece.
The good thing about this story is that it kept you off your feet for a few minutes (for Rob, a little longer). After all, it’s Taper Week. Eat Well, Rest Well, and don’t kill bunnies or you will have to deal with Sloan and Lisa.
See you SUNDAY morning at Veteran’s Park. R66 Marathon starts at 7:30 AM. Don’t be late, and don’t plan on parking in your regular spot.