Friday, January 8, 2010

Test-Icicle Training Run

When: Saturday, January 09, 2010 7:45 AM-9:45 AM. Central Standard Time
Where: North Pole - AKA Veteran's Park (21st & Boulder)

Who would have thunk it that last Saturday’s “bumpy” training run was literally a warm up to this Saturday? Can you believe how much we’re wishing that we could have some of that 20 degree F temps for this weekend? Crazy? Possibly. Insane? Certifiably so. If you do choose to run on Saturday morning, make sure you don’t tell any non-runner acquaintances, and it’s suggested you exercise discretion even when telling other “fair weather” runners. Tell them you’re going out for coffee, or to the store, or to check on the street conditions, or to learn the new noises that come from your car when there is “NO TEMPERATURE”. After all, surely omitting a few details here and there such as a 14 mile mid-trip jaunt won’t be the make or break determining factor on whether your final resting place comes complete with cushy socks, running kicks that don’t ever wear out, and beautifully warm and low humidity places to stretch those accompanying wings from time to time.

Back to the topic of self mutilation and jaw/cheek/tongue/mind/limb numbing torture (Who needs Novocain when all you have to do is step outside for 10 minutes and get the same effect?) – kind of puts a rather rosy spin on things, don’t you agree? This Saturday's training run is specifically intended to help scratch that unfulfilled scientific itch that many of us have carried since our college/high school/grade school/sand pile days. The unique combination of slightly crisp temperatures plus the residual XMAS eve moisture allows for the opportunity to qualify the structural, material, and physical properties of varying stages and forms of icicles during our run. We can compare those formed along the trails with those in neighborhoods with those along major streets, commercial businesses versus residential, and those formed and reformed by periods of thawing and refreezing against those adjacent to flowing waters. So, hopefully by now I've sufficiently justified via political correctness the use of the "Test-Icicle Training Run" term. I mean, how could this possibly have any other intended meaning?

On a slightly more serious note, running conditions for Saturday mornings run are a wee bit on the sub-optimal side. As such, permission is once again granted (we sure can't let this become a habit) to anyone who chooses to sit this one out - with qualifying conditions. If you don't get your 14 mile long run in on Saturday morning, then you really need to get them in either later on Saturday or on Sunday when the temperatures become more reasonable. I'm certainly not trying to discourage anyone from joining us, as there will be a "nutty" contingent of hard heads either too stubborn or intellectually challenged who will show up to run. And to all of us who do, and who are fortunate enough to survive, then we willingly bestow heaping piles of bragging rights to all those misguided soles/souls. Also, each blue and shivering "Test-Icicle" survivor is entitled to a guiltless group hug (high five or a communal grunt are suitable substitutions). And further, if the key is able to penetrate the car lock, and the car then magically happens to start, then each "Test-Icicle" survivor is bestowed best wishes on getting to a warm place before full rigormortis sets in.

For those of you have gotten in the habit of being a little tardy, it's anticipated that this Saturday's run will start pretty darn close to 7:45 AM from Veteran's Park - pre-run loitering time will likely be limited to conserve any remaining car heater ingested articificial heat. So, in addition to wearing your winter warmies, the more flexible folks/folkettes may also want to consider self administering a farewell/good luck kiss to the arsal regions. For the flexibility challenged, you're on your own unless you can rustle up your own surrogate to perform the honors, as there's a good chance that if you wait until you get to Veteran's Park that you won't find any willing accomplices, unless of course Brian, our resident Pretty Boy Toy, chooses to grace us with his well fortified presence.

"Test-Icicles Up and Bring 'Em If You Got "Em"
Dom-N-8rz 9:51
Double Blank Larry

1 comment:

coco bean a.k.a. lisa said...

I want the t-shirt for surviving this one!