Thursday, January 14, 2010

Larry's Confessional

When: Saturday, January 16, 2010 7:45 AM-10:30 AM. Central Standard Time
Where: Veteran's Park (21st & Boulder)


I think it’s just human nature to kind of keep things to yourself, especially those that might lead to some personal humiliation, peer ridicule, and accompanying loss of stature. Especially as one of Coach Kathy’s troop of esteemed run leaders, I mean reputation is everything. That’s why we successfully strive each and every week in our run announcements and invitations to keep them down the middle, non-offensive to anyone, and with nary a hint of impropriety.

But …. there comes a point where the silence can no longer be contained, when the right thing to do is to clear the air, come clean with the admissions, and to start down the long and painful road of healing. Just like when Britney disclosed that she wasn’t among the top ten finalists for mother of the year; just like when Mark McGwire announced that he dabbed a little with “recovery” shots and pills, but only for a short decade or so; and like when Tiger admitted that his SUV driving skills weren’t quite on par with his golf driving skills. Well, I also have a confession to make. This is the time when a run leader truly is able to separate his real Dominoes and his Dominettes from the pretenders – those with the spots that easily rub off if you will.

You see, even though I am one of the most grateful and adoring fans of Tatur Dave’s infamous torturing and always challenging training routes, my self-diagnosed ADD presents an even greater challenge when listening to and attempting to memorize the turn-by-turn verbal instructions for each explicitly detailed route. In fact, a couple of weeks back, I somehow managed to blindly lead myself and Dom #1 (Bill) to the following destination. With the birth given masculine gene, it was not within our DNA to stop and ask for directions, nor to any time give any hint of being unsure of the route. Contrary to popular opinion, I did slowly come to realize that the old adage of “if ever in doubt, then head north” has some shortcomings.

Confession #2: I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve been asked whether I participated in the New Year’s Day Polar Plunge, nor can I disclose the number of times that I answered a different question or somehow changed the subject, and even one occasion when I faked a kidney malfunction as a diversion (note to self – you don’t have to play that one all the way through, especially when it’s below freezing temps). Well, all I have to say is that what I once viewed as a one time lack of Halloween costuming indiscretion, which landed me back in rehab, the subconscious magnetic pull of re-donning the hot iron and dolling it up again proved to be just too much. Just like before, there truly can’t be any conclusions drawn from either event. As all my G-friends can attest, it’s amazing what a little eye liner, a couple of dabs of carefully contoured gel (gel - it’s not just for running shoes anymore), and a dollop of attitude can do. So, if you revisit the RW Polar Plunge photos, look carefully for the red bikini.

So, this Saturday we find ourselves back at Veteran’s Park for the start of another training run. This one is charted for 16 miles, which will be our longest of the season. Fittingly, after last week’s “Test Icicle” run, this week holds the promise of being held in “balmy” conditions. And remember, if you don’t show up at 7:45 AM sharp’ish, then you run the risk of being inflicted with bed bugs, and not the good kind.

Random tip of the week: Might be a good contingency plan to listen to the route directions for yourself, not that your fave run leader would ever lead you astray.


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