Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Kno Betta N Dis!

When: Saturday, October 31, 2009 8:30 AM-11:30 AM. Central Standard Time
Where: 3rd & Boulder (Downtown Tulsa)

That’s right – it’s finally here – Tulsa's B-I-G, Annual, very own, highly anticipated, heavily tread (sorry Brian, but stay at it and the weight will eventually come off), and anti climactic Tulsa Run. 2009 marks the 32nd running, which has amazingly been strung together back to back in consecutive and accumulative order (you know, started with #1 – sometimes referred to as the inaugural, but sometimes not if no one thinks of it, then #2, then a bunch more with no repeats unless there was an error in counting – oh, where was I, yeah then #3, etc., and then PRESTO – now). To put it in perspective, if the Tulsa Run were only held on February 29th, then this would be very confusing since it wouldn’t be run again until 2012, but there would roughly be a lot fewer runs to keep track of.
A lot of folks and folkettes have trained very hard this Summer and Fall to get ready for the TR, especially those from Camp Runners World, led by the illuminating Coach K, who inspires us weekly with quips such as “Do what I say, not what I do”. Ah, such inspiration … And when you mix in the Magellanesque trail blazing/marking talents of Tatur Dave and the photogratizing ingenuity of the renowned flank sweeper, Trail Zombie (old Arapaho tribal name meaning “he who leads from the rear but who would be in the front if everyone suddenly did a 180”), it’s a 1-2-3 combination that just can’t be beat, regardless how much “Pretty Boy” Brian tries.
So, enough of the build-up – I say “Bring it”, as in lace it up tite, lift them puppies up, put them down, and repeat a bunch of times. A word of caution is in order as this year’s Halloween run forecast calls for a trace of creepiness, a 30-50% chance of scare-ding-lings, with potentials of developing punkin' hallowness as the day grows longer. There are even hints of possibly sighting those horrified beings who return from the dead, who won’t lie quietly, that keep coming back, you know the ones that aren’t really fast but are relentless in their pursuit – oh heck, what are they called – Hombies? Zonkers? (Thank goodness I've never seen one close up, and remember that they are afraid of being on the flash side of a camera lens.) Whatever – just be advised to not stay out on the course too long and whatever you do, don’t drift off alone, or with "BOR" (secret code name - read it right to left).
This goes without saying, but it’s nearly impossible to imagine that anyone would miss this event – not since the tragedy of ’94 still fresh on everyone’s mind. Legend has it that in ’94 there was a breakout of rogue runners who turned their backs on the TR and ventured north to New York City for reasons too silly to comprehend. All I know is that that group was forever branded as a bunch of lame @#$es. Like New York City could ever compete with “The 918”! Such lightening could never strike twice.
For “the runner formerly known as Rob”, you better come to the TR prepared to be distracted – to the tune of several thousand times. So, go ahead and get your rack out, up the track, rack it up, or whatever delirious saying you have, polish up those high kickin’ side steppin’ strides, and be prepared to have a great time. And whatever you do, remember to forget your watch. Most importantly, as always, be sure to have one for me.
What’s so great about the TR? Well, it begins and ends in the mountainous rarified air of Boulder and Denver. It provides the opportunity to get your fresh vegetable shopping in at Cherry Street, and to get a physical and heart palpitations as you detour through St. John’s Emergency Treatment Center, do a little luxury shopping in Utica Square (might consider layaway so you don't get weighted down), cruise on past the pictoral country setting of Woodward Park, and take the 21st Street high velocity banked NASCAR turn onto Riverside Drive (NOTE TO Rob-SELF: Miss this turn and you’re either joining the Rowing Club or crossed over to the scary west side.) pointing South toward Downtown. Oh, big mistake, that’s not DT, it's the ORU Tower, so better turn around near the spankin’ new 41st Street Quick Trip Park (hey kids, stay out of those fountains!), and head back to the other South (that would be North to you city folks), and before you know it, arrive at the big gleaming stainless BOK Arena (remember that it wasn't advertised to be streakless or mildewless, so don't be critical - and you have to admit that it is kind of round) . Mix in a few hills here and there, avoid the potholes, and remember to go around and not through the barricades, and call it a great day.
NOTICE: The Tulsa Run will NOT be starting from Veteran’s Park. If you go there anyway, then you’re a big cheater, who won’t win the TR cause your chip will have never started timing – so there.
NOTICE # Dos: Not a good weekend to sneak in an extra cartoon and plan on showing up in the nick of time (as some of you have seemed to develop a nasty habbit of doing). Remember, the TR waits for no man or manette, plus RW picture assembly is scheduled for 8:30 AM – not as in ‘ish.
See you in Rehab –

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