Thursday, July 15, 2010

Patching Things Up - Correcting the Record

When: Saturday, July 17, 2010 5:45 AM-8:30 AM. Central Standard Time
Where: Veteran's Park (18th & Boulder)

Patching Things Up - Correcting the Record

First and foremost, we need to give a Shout Out to Miss Kathy and her leachy sidekick Brian for hosting last week's Poker Run. It was a party, with the participants as the honored guests - great time, lots of snacks, and tons of prizes. This event just gets bigger and better every year, and you can literally feel the buzz and excitement from both the regular runners and those first timer gamblers and casino hustlers alike who come out to "run the trail tables". With all that, it was awesome to see that our very own Rachel, AKA "Tomb Raider", was the most excited of all. She managed to elevate to a heretofore unknown level, and we nearly had to run her through the cold sprinkler to get her to calm down. THANK YOU RUNNERS WORLD - just the best little running store in the state of Oklahoma (possibly slightly biased opinion).

Next, I, under the full influence of my own coersion, and being in full possession of all my limited possessions, do hereby apologize for any disparaging remarks that "Pretty Boy" Brian may have gleaned from last week's post. That's the problem with putting these things down in writing - they can be twisted and turned and taken out of context and used in a way that I never imagined he would ever comprehend. My own speculation is that some of his soured sneaker disposition stems from past issues. I mean really, we've all experienced several doses of anguish and emotional distress resulting from a broken heart, but at some point we all have to move on. It's called refocus - get a grip - vow to hold your head high and do better next time. So Brian, please let me know if this independently served apology somehow didn't quite come with enough gauze, ointment, and compress to completely cover the obviously gaping wounds. And finally, I really don't think you've gotten all that huge, but consensus polls would look favorably upon your return to some type of regular excercise that didn't depend upon stuffing your adorable cheeks.

Which reminds me of one of our duties as a run leader - and that is to pass on valuable training tips that could be helpful in our marathon training. Personally, I feel that I have been running for half my life; but now really isn't the time to dwell on my legal issues and law enforcement evasion practices. Maintaining the theme of borrowing from other sports, this week's tip looks way to the east and takes inspiration from the Tour duh France. After all, sometime in our not so distant adult life, nearly all of us learned to ride a bike, even if it had some side wheels for extra support, so we should all be able to relate. Similar to competitive biking (google Lance's last Tour), it is highly recommended that you try to not fall down several times and that you avoid crashes while running. Why? Well, we don't have a peloton that will wait for you to catch up, you'll lose a lot of time and won't get nearly enough sympathy - unless it comes disguised as laughter as corunners dodge your pathetically limp frame, and it might hurt - a lot. I would offer to give you more critical running tips in the future, but I must confess, with all the honesty that I choose to convey, that that's pretty much all I've got.

So speaking of last week's soccer slander, PB Brian (thought you were off the hook, didn't you?) aptly imposed that diversity is a really valuable trait, and that we all, which I think includes me, need to be tolerant and respectful of the views of others. While admitting that he didn't for a minute understand the point of a generously labeled "sport" that consists of running around for hours in circles chasing a funny colored ball that you aren't allowed to catch or throw, and which apparently doesn't allow for anyone to win until after the end of all conceivable competition, Brian was quick to appreciate the magnetic appeal of young muscular lads gallanting around in nylon shorts, perpetually sliding and tackling and posing and strutting out on the pitch. So, in much the same way that I am mysteriously drawn every four years to the highly entertaining and mesmerizing sport of women's Olympic Beach Volleyball, it would be hypocritical of me to not recognize and respect Brian's soccer obsession. Match On!

Following the lead of "duh Tour", this week's training run, which starts on Saturday at 5:45 AM-ish at Veteran's Park, departs from the low river country and takes us over and across alpy terrain and along an inland Lake where the swans are known to frequent. Our course will traverse rolling hills and valleys and will expose us (in a good way) to haughty chalets and vistas. Runners are encouraged to gear up for cobblestone lanes disguised as pothole infested roadways, be ready to bob and weave around the endless array of construction cones and barricades, and just like in "duh Tour" fashion, always be on alert for weaving cars and motorcycles - they aren't always your best friends, but can leave a lasting impression.

NOTE: Opinions expressed may or may not reflect my views, depending on how big, tough, and vengeful you are.

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