Thursday, February 11, 2010

I'll Keep Mine On - Thank You Very Much

When: Saturday, February 13, 2010 7:00 AM-9:30 AM. Central Standard Time
Where: Veteran's Park (21st & Boulder)


All the cards are being turned over - kind of revealing their true colors if you will. For several weeks now the hints have been there, but so discreet and well disguised that it was hard to put the pieces together. A glimpse here, a flash of skin there, teasing, tantalizing, all just out of our grasp. I'm talking of course of that running hunk of flesh, Pretty Boy Brian, and all his bellyness. With a TuTu here, a sequin or two there, and a wardrobe that never needs the lights turned on, we in the fan club are jaw dropping numb in anticipation for the next scene topping event. While the rest of us have been shivering in the cold and the wind the last few weeks, the one constant has been to witness PB at one point or another, running with a callous gait, in shorts, shirtless, while all the time offering up the feeble excuse of "I'm Hot!". To say the least, as witnessed by my routine candle light vigils to my secluded wall of fame - the PB Shrine. Not sure I should have disclosed that revelation in print out loud, as we're still pretty early in our relationship and I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

Which brings us to this Saturday's Poker Run. It's all very confusing, and I'm not sure what all is involved, but the core ingredients are said to involve running, cards, gambling with your sense of decency, and articles of clothing - more or less. Stripped to its core, this stroll along the river could very well reveal a lot, and not always in a good way. Might be a good day to wear plenty of layers, for the sake of preservation of dignity, just in case the "rules of the game" require some shedding.

So, it seems the deal is to ante up five bucks, and to start running at 8 AM for five miles. Now, not being an esteemed Accountant, and having to do some quick abacussing in my head, that seems to work out approximately to something a little more or a little less than a dollar per mile, give or take. I don't have to tell you, in this day and time, that's a lot of aluminum cans turned into cash. Yeah, I know that plasma is a lot more profitable, but you have to have the stomach for it.
Anyway, since that dollar per mile jazz is a little rich for my kind, me and the boys was thinking out loud (like there's any other way) that we could outsmart the Runners World casino brain trust. Here's the skinny: A bunch of us are going to start running on Saturday morning at 7 AM - ish, and get in 5 or 6 miles of pre-Poker Run miles. We would figure it out so we would be back at Veteran's Park just in time for the start of the Poker Run, where we would then run the scheduled 5 miles, collect our lucky cards for our 7 card stud (sorry Brian, wasn't referring to you here) poker hand, and then promenade on up to collect our well deserved winnings. Here's the ingenious part: By running almost twice as many miles as scheduled, but still paying our $5 entry fee, we will have brought our cost per mile down to a much more reasonable level of something closer to 75 to 80 cents per mile (unaudited estimate, of course. NOTE TO SELF: Might be good to stay a little more focused if I ever find myself back in a remedial cypher-in' class). That way, even if we don't end up with the best winning hand, we will still be economic winners!

Hope to see you Saturday morning - just not all of you in all your birthday glory. Come early, stay long, or show up at 8 AM and get in a fun run. If the weather has knocked you off your training schedule the last few weeks, then Saturday would be a great opportunity to ease back in - get back on the trail again - without having to endure a sudden increase in miles. Also, keep in mind that the $5 cost for the Poker Run is the suggested minimum, and that the money actually goes to one of my favorite charities - the Runners World Runners. Yep, the money goes back into post run treats, gatorade, water, and helping to keep the costs down on some of the TATUR sponsored runs. So, I'm suggesting that the Dom-N-8rz start a little runners group challenge to double down for luck with an extra 5 spot ($10 total) for our entry fee. I would try to figure up the adjusted $ per mile amount, but I'm sure you can appreciate that my head is throbbing a little right now.

Remember: A little exposure goes a long way.

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